I have learned— if you must give advice to others, it’s useful to think of Kahneman’s remembering vs. experiencing self: Don’t give advice from your remembering self. In hindsight your simplified lessons feel certain; to those experiencing the immediate, they feel irrelevant.
In chronological order
#1 Do give advice that serves as *tools* for the experiencing self. The experiencing self is fraught with continuous ambiguity; it’s hard to see patterns while in the thick of it. This stage needs concrete tools to deal with the volatile froth and eery ephemeral still
#2 My favorite example of an experiencing self tool: In evaluating a new relationship– go on a trip to an equally new destination early on, to test how both sides deal with the wonder and unexpected challenges of travel (read: new situations)
#3 Even my use of Twitter is as an experiencing self tool. I sense intuitively that certain ideas are related and might have greater meaning once interlaced with others, but I’m not entirely sure how. Linking ideas as a start hopefully helps paint a clearer, grander picture.
#4 Another experiencing self tool– saying yes to more situations that are on the *edge* of discomfort. It’s like doing Turkish Getups w/ a kettlebell that’s on the edge of too heavy. It grabs your focus, and with each discrete posture you quickly learn what your imbalances are.